I’m so frustrated tonight it’s been one of those weeks. I’m forcing myself to work harder largely because I don’t want to feel the emotions inside. Over and over again I see friendships falling aside and here I am spending day in and day out fighting just to keep them afloat. I think I’m worn out of them. The friendships and the need to keep them afloat. It’s no longer healthy. However I’m not ready to be that alone either. What am I to do? Normally when I feel this way I tend to ignore how these friends make me feel. Instead I’ve decided to make some changes. The friends I feel like are being extremely distant I’m going to approach them with heart felt emails trying to reconnect and make sense of the distance and see if the friendship is just growing healthily away. This is a good thing it can be a natural progression of a friendship just not one I saw coming. Secondarily friends that ignore the email just deserved to be nuked (kidding) and will be allowed to drift away without much of a fight.
This year has so many opportunities and I’ve already made a ton of mistakes and that’s ok. There’s 11 months and a bit more left to fix the mistakes I’ve already made. Like creating more work. Do I need to create more work when my goal for the end of the year is to create less work? This seems self defeating and almost like sabotage. However maybe it isnt. Maybe it’s time for a deep examinating of what business’ I have that are working and which just arent working and try to make my life leaner by eliminating the less profitable businesses and focusing more on developing some new hobbies and not worrying so much about work.